haiz.. i've somehow wasted 3 days of the holidays.. no mood to do hols asgn.. only settled some ss n debate stuffs.. let's recall wat had happened..


15/5 monday SIANX

laz paper, geog p1.. din really study.. simply too tired.. haiz..

yy says lao min heard some tchers say tt ncc coming back.. haha.. gd for yy.. cz is her ''hao lao shi"..

tt fu qian de ren suddenly v free liddat.. called me at night.. so diao lo.. he go n ask sum freako abt my studies.. then tt sum1 tld him my sch attendance nt v gd.. n i ended up listening to his nagging for abt an hr.. kns.. why muz he n tt sum1 b so busybody.. it's my own business aft all.. y shd they interfere.. bleahz.. laz time oso bcz of sum1 i gt nagged.. duno is which san ba.. well.. this time some of the things he mentioned are: 1. aft june hols muz concentrate on studies (as if i duno liddat), 2. i'm actually nt stupid, 3. i'm nt smart bt i'm hardworking (2 & 3 contradicts totally, wat crap is he blabbering), 4. there r 3 person who he kan de qi n hav potential: they r me, his ex & sum1 frm anglican high (do i look as if i care), 5. there's no time to waste, v soon will b prelims & Os (think i duno meh), 6. gd prospects poly courses (bt none of which interests me), 7. muz study hard, dun later something happen then affect Os (of cz i know tt), 8. there r some things we cnt control n blah blah blah (applies to him i suppose), 9. dun cong ming fan bei cong ming wu (trying to show off ur chinese isit), 10. dun find him naggy (obviously i do), 11. any prob cn juz look for him (no way! tel him oso no use), 12. asked me y i dun trust him (dun ask me y, i oso duno, juz feel tt he's nt trustworthy), n etc.. gou luo suo bah.. i juz fu yan ta by saying tt certain things actually make sense bt when it comes out of his mouth, everything turn to rubbish.. i noe he meant well, bt i simply cnt stand his "jiao hui".. if is sum other ppl say, think i might listen..


19/5 friday

din do much today.. juz had a chat wif jin mei.. she's one of the v rare junior tt i cn talk freely to.. really glad to hav known her.. otherwise i duno how many times i'd exploded during debate.. she oso tld me abt tt ncc.. he confirm coming back.. haiz.. later yy gona anyhow ba wo gen ta che zai yi qi..

20/5 saturday DUH

did my cip.. for national arthritis foundation.. the worst flag day i have ever done.. chinese unwilling to donate.. almost all r malays.. so diao.. je interchange too many students, so out.. nearby too few ppl, out again.. in the end went to jurong west market.. n found a "feng shui wei'.. shan't talk too much abt it.. too boring le..

25/5 thursday PATHETIC

got bac our report bk.. top 10 was almost as accurate as yy n i had calculated, except tt loretta suddenly appear b4 yy, n sb's results turned out weird.. bt well.. doesn't matter anyway.. whole cls results sux.. to think the P n VP dare to say tt they r worried abt our cls.. crap lo.. we're in this state all thanks to them.. still say all this mei you jian she xing de fei hua.. boliao.. giv us tt kind of math tcher.. dun do well then scold us.. wth.. who do they think they r to scold us as n when they wan.. bt the cls has got themeselves to blame as well.. all those talks abt petition r juz for show only.. all r timid lyk mice.. lian yi sheng dou bu gan keng.. hai jiang zhe me duo gan she me..

this time rd i gt the worst results thru'out my sec life.. overall % so damn low.. bt hai hao tt disneyland only gt 2nd.. haha.. huo gai.. n his chinese is so lousy, c5 nia.. zhen shi dui lian.. lp improved a lot.. bt she still say until v lan liddat.. wt lo..

26/5 friday HYPOCRITE

watched movie during hcl lesson.. a little weird bt overall quite nice..
in b/w miss jun came n look for me to settle some stuffs for prize-giving.. she was sick bt came to sch.. i tld her i'll handle everything so tt she can go n see a doctor.. although i do hav some bu man wif her, i'm nt tt evil.. the organizer finally sent atiqa's n aaron's certs to the sch.. phew.. if nt duno gai ru he shi hao..

went to look for mr teo during recess bt he wasn't there.. so no choice had to wait till a later time..

left early during phy to settle debate again.. missed 15 mins of lesson.. haiz..
went to look for the speakers.. n luckily mr teo was in the hod office.. if nt oso duno where to find him.. passed him the trophies n certs.. i wanted to go bac to hall bt he tld me to hav a seat 1st while he check thru the things to b read.. hao kong bu.. he was surprised when he saw tt there were quite a lot of ppl to b mentioned.. wat to do.. dun mention ppl will say i dun appreciate them, otherwise say wo wang en fu yi..

today had mass assembly.. during the prize giving, we were the only ones wearing blazers.. a little extra.. bt since 1st time get into semi finals, muz b proud of our performance n wear our "zhan yi".. when we were standing by the side of the hall.. we seemed like some orphans.. no one cares abt us, we juz do whatever we want n sui ji ying bian.. luckily i've received prizes on stage b4, so cnt really b bothered by those freaking tchers.. eve n i are really v proud of atiqa n aaron for getting 4th n 7th in the top 20 best speaker.. esp aaron, 1st yr join only n achieved it.. even my seniors din manage to get thru the prelims, or get top 20.. oen said to me: "i'm v proud of u".. so hypocrite.. only cared abt us when we gt into semi.. go n die la.. laz minute then lend us hlp (which were obviously useless to me).. she think my debaters will b grateful.. no way.. we hate her to the core.. the only thing i agree with her is tt it's alright to sacrifice ur CT for ur cca competition.. oh ya.. i feel like laughing when they mentioned the names of 5 tchers.. make it sound as if a lot of ppl hlp us liddat.. pui.. 1 helped a little in term 1.. 1 helped a lot in term 2.. another tried to hlp bt yue bang yue mang, hai wo gen can.. the other 2 r for show nia..

the trophy shall become a symbol of my determination n passion towards debating.. no one really cared for me n my debaters.. both tchers n seniors dun care at all.. bt it's fine.. i still managed to survive the ordeals n we made it to the semi.. we dun nd their hlp.. we depended on ourselves n everything went absolutely right.. bt somehow the sch doesn't realize this.. they think tt we nd them bt actually we dun.. the in-charge made the debate team become a refugee camp.. n so the sch juz throw watever fei wu to us.. well.. they din had the chance to do so this yr.. watever rubbish thrown to us were kicked away by me.. n i wun allow the debate team to become a rubbish dump ever again, nt even aft i graduate.. sounds arrogant.. bt ttz exactly wat i'll do.. if i cn, i'll make debating become an individual cca.. debaters won't b shadowed by the drama ppl anymore.. i had enough of it.. i was forced to go to drama when i was only interested in debating.. thru'out the year in sec 1 n 2, the so-called eldds meetings only did drama.. debating was as gd as non-existence when the competition was over.. the previous 3 batches din even bother to do anything either.. wat kind of attitude was tt.. i still rmb laz yr the speakers gt scolded for dressing sloppishly for competition.. initially i din understand y tt jtjw reprimanded them as though it was all their fault.. bt nw i noe.. they deserved it.. this yr i made it compulsory for them to b as formal as possible.. polished leather shoes, sch tie n blazer, neat hairstyle.. seems troublesome.. bt they still followed my instructions.. n i'm really glad.. i had v high expectations of the speakers, n i made sure the slightest mistake was corrected.. bt the pathetic thing was.. i screwed up the semi finals.. aft being denied the chance of speaking bcz i din perform well in sec 2, i lost my confidence in speaking in front of the adjudicators.. this time rd it was impromptu n the motion was something totally unexpected.. we had not done any research on tt area n hence we lacked the contents.. being the propo, lacking in things to debate on was the worst tt cn ever happen.. although i could talk to large grps of ppl, somehow i juz couldn't find the confidence.. n eventually we lost.. n we missed the chance to gt into the finals n move to the 'b' division.. i was really touched atiqa's, aaron's n eve's words aft the announcement.. tt was the 1st time i felt the strong team spirit b/w us.. i had been v strict with them, bt they didn't blame me.. this made me guilty towards them too.. there's a lot of things tt i hope to tell them, bt i'm nt able to express well.. besides my members, wo ye you kui yu yi ge ren.. haiz.. all i cn say is tt i'm v grateful for their assistance n his willingness to hlp the "forgotten team"..


going to watch a band concert tml.. long time nv watch le.. hao qi dai..


latest update for yy: iris tld me ur "hao lao shi" request to teach 3e.. haha.. juz FYI nia..

27/5 saturday NOT BAD

watched AJC band concert.. overall quite nice.. juz tt 1st 2 pieces nt v gd, was a lil messy.. h/e, i still prefer sp de band concert though both r gd in their own ways.. it has been abt 1.5 yrs since i left band.. so i shan't comment too much.. bt i miss the days in band!!